The various titles a woman undergoes in her lifetime:
In our strange epoch a woman/man in our society is entitled with
different names like single, widow, divorced, prostitute etc., yet woman
possessing any of these titles is still considered to be in a bad state as
compared to men. If found in any such state “Poor woman” becomes her synonym even if both the genders go through or taste the
various aspects of woman-man relationship in their entire lifetime. As a matter
of fact, there is no cultural or religious limitation to any of these colours
of life except for the fact that the way we perceive a relationship and
identify the status of a person which defines her/him in our social life.
Both the genders have their own power of understanding while dealing
with life as a couple and there is no generalization as such, which proves that
infidelity is thy name is woman. In a relationship/marriage the number of break
ups in general cannot fully be attributed to the problem in the character of
any one of the genders only. There could be hundreds of such reasons for any
break up in a relationship. We need not shun however, one of the important
factors for divorce or break-ups in a relationship. Before we get into the
explanation of this reason let us first monitor man’s personality as a person
in a couple.
Men have tendency to get lured easily due to their biological and physiological set up which make them attracted towards opposite sex. All cannot be simply blamed on their hormonal structure but also because of their inquisitive feature, which is predominant as compared to women and precisely,when it comes to exploring the world including other women. This curiosity could lead a man to leap from one lover or wife to another and get infatuated in seconds. It is a proven fact that no man can resist woman’s beauty and can surrender himself with no regrets at all. However, the level of getting head over heels for an insatiable creature has its own restrictions like social obligations or rules and regulations set by law or religion. No such man is ever born who does not have ever fallen in the whirlpool of attraction. As a matter of fact, we cannot change the overall character of a man or his attributes which are by default representing his nature.
Now here comes the factor which has a significant value in break ups or
divorces which is nothing but mans’ fickle mindedness which makes him helpless
to move from one relationship to other.
Although, we do have a solution to the problem mentioned above, keeping
under consideration our religion, that is to get married again and give equal
right to every woman whom a person(man) wants to marry but after having
taken the consent from his first wife. In the light of Islam he needs to
take care of both his spouses equally with regards to financial, social and
emotional level.
“If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans,
marry women of your choice, two, three, or four, but if you fear that you shall
not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one…(Surah al-Nisa, 3).
The above statement depicts that man has no right to deprive women from
her basic rights. Marriage is not only a social bond but also a social
obligation between two people which one needs to undergo in order to
maintain balance with nature. If a woman is deprived of love or in a state of not
being a wife or mother of a family then who will compensate her losses?
Interestingly, even in Hindu law after 4th marriage divorce is not
allowed. In other words, no matter what religion or culture a society is from,
it puts a restriction on man for not going beyond a certain
level. However, contrary is the case in today’s world.
Therefore, let us accept the man the way he is,
especially, the contemporary one. In that case, how does a widow, divorced or
single cope up in her difficult situation particularly when she is considered
to be a misfortunate and hapless victim? And how do we build our society in
such a way so that everyone is capable enough to tackle a sad state of broken
relationship?
We would not be able to make it possible unless we hype the social obligations
to such an extent that we tend to lose our mental status.
Women to a greater extent than men, generally, fall prey to such social
obligations in our society without knowing how to resist in a baffled situation
which could lead them to either commit suicide or impede themselves from
getting into another relationship or in extreme cases they develop the same
traits like their counterpart. Commonly speaking, women should not make
themselves easy going when it comes to getting into a relationship. The demand
of being a good society with all the moral values intact can actually
exist only if mothers of that society are morally and mentally sound since
the source of strength for a new generation ,in order to become a better human
being, with full control on the lustful desires has to come through her.
If the rate of broken families increases the way it has been, then we
would not be able to provide a happy and positive environment to our growing
children. Their mental orientation may harm their conscience, their growth as a
human being could not help them survive the basic moral values.
Man is still socially acceptable for his wrong doings but why is woman
considered not to be less than a slut in our society if she crosses the
boundary of her house? In the present scenario who has forced her to jump into
the filthy puddle?
All said and done, people do have extra marital affairs or divorce or
keep on changing their spouses as helpless souls. Then our society has no right
to force her to abide by these social obligations while making marriages appear
as the only ultimate success in her life. We should not impose on her any such
thoughts or ideas by concluding that a failure in a marriage is a permanent
disgrace in her life. This should hold true not only in the context of divorce
but also if God forbid, she loses her husband or remains single out of her
choice.
In the state of sheer hypocrisy people look down on her in case she
is not associated in any way with a man, with an additional advantage of
evoking an evil intention for filthy minds who want to take their
turn to taste this beautiful forbidden fruit
Although, we have succeeded in giving proper education to our
daughters to a great extent in order to make them financially independent. But in
our society we pass the silent message from one generation to another that
marriage is the foundation of our society or last achievement
Several cases come in front row when we emphasise on the fact that
successful marriage is the only happiness for a woman. In most of the cases, either
she gets into the same boat in which a man is already sailing or she loses her
interest in the life or she tries her luck one more time.
Therefore, if we cannot change our society at least, we can change the
way we speak to our children about the matter concerning the two genders which
in turn can change their mental orientation towards the association called
marriage. This way our innocent sisters and daughters can live happily and get
emancipated.
Without glorifying the idea of a marriage as next to larger than life
concept theory is the easy way through. Perhaps, the less emphasis on it can
help men to bring change in their views and they will start believing in one-
woman man person. We will no longer call any family as a broken family even if
a woman is separated or divorced. She will be socially accepted and no eye will
rise to see a widow or divorced or single with suspicion. Otherwise, if we
will not understand the intricacies of our perception towards women we will soon
witness in near future that women of our society falling prey to debauchee
nature and losing the very essence of their life The morals of the society,
according to people, are imbibed in children through women will be ruined.
